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This page jabs at them, but I'm proud of the job all the Officers do in our town. Get a copy today.____________________On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back? "____________________A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop.

"To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf! After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn't stop, he just slowed down a little.

I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back! Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." 13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." 12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." 8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." 5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." 4 "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had? We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can." 2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of know someone who can post your bail." AND THE WINNER IS... He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I have contacts." The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! " ____________________An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "She got in the back-seat by mistake." ____________________A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman? ____________________A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Homer gets out.

"____________________A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." 11 "You don't know how fast you were going? She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator! " "No, I am an undercover detective." "So why are you in uniform? The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park..couldn't find his way home.

At the same time, finding that peaceful time to go on a date is not something that most of them can afford.

Angelina Jolie has finally heard and seen some of the fake news stories dominating searches, which allege she’s now dating an unnamed wealthy British man, and has called the rumors “untrue.” A source in close contact with Jolie exclusively tells Gossip Cop that while she “doesn’t pay attention” to tabloid and online tales about her, she’s made it very clear that the reports were fabricated and that her sole focus is on her six kids.

Copán was occupied for more than two thousand years, from the Early Preclassic period to the Postclassic.

Copán is an archaeological site of the Maya civilization located in the Copán Department of western Honduras, not far from the border with Guatemala.

It was the capital city of a major Classic period kingdom from the 5th to 9th centuries AD.

Clair Simms poses in a cop outfit in today's Cosmid shoot!

The red hot redhead is pictured posing outdoors in her revealing attire. Clair strikes pose after pose, ending with her bust and privates exposed.